therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
