I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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