She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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