They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
