so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
