I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
