I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
