so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
whose parrot is this?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
