The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I wish I could teleport
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
