i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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