I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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