bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
