are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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