i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
