he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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