just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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