spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
