yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
