You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
