Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
