i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
