When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
