I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
