I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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