Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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