and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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