i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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