did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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