I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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