I will die if light touches me.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
