How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude i'm inner monologue high
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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