go do what you do best...puke behind churches
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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