she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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