Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
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I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
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If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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