No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
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I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
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we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌