So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.