If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time