come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize