He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
