he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
