When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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