Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
