The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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