Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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