yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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