Don't you send me to vm
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So many bounce houses so little time
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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