I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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