I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
