I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
