We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
