I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
