hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Let's paint friendship bongs
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
