my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
