so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
