We're like a lot better than the average bears
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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