Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize