Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
