i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
