Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
