i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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