i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i drank out of a bidet.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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