No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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