uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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