everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
