I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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