why didn't you poke me back
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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