No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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