Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
