I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
