So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
