He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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