idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
