is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Two words: nipple clamps
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