College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
