i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
